Point-by-Point

I got an angry comment regarding my "Bad Night... IN HELL!!!" story. Rather than have a Big Stupid Internet Fight about it, I'm going to take it point by point and try to explain to this person (who will remain nameless) why I disagree with his/her points.

"Oh that is just disgusting!"

I agree; that's why it's funny. It's certainly not for everyone, and I understand completely if you found it to be in poor taste. That was kind of the point. I nearly got my ass kicked by a bunch of idiots, and so wrote this story to amuse myself.

"yOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMEaD OF YOURSELF FOR POSTING SUCK GARrrBAGE!"

Umm... No. It's a joke. A stupid, juvenile joke, no doubt, but a joke nonetheless. I realize it's not everyone's cup of tea, which is why I decided to put up the 18+ warning so people know ahead of time that there's potentially upsetting content.

"How culd you ave something like this arund the intrnert?!"

The Internet, as we all know, is normally a bastion of good taste. But seriously, have you SEEN some of the shit on places like 4Chan, ED, etc.? The stuff on here is no more disgusting than the average South Park episode, and those are broadcast on national television. It's certainly in poor taste, but it's nothing society-destroying, as you suggest.

"aND TO THIHNK YOU COULD BE A FUTURE LEADER OF aMERIKA IS JUST HORRIFRYING Beyand all mesureQQ!"

Please don't be so condescending. I'm not claiming the story as high art; it's stupid. I know it's stupid, which is why, having an extremely immature sense of humor, I found it funny.

"YOU OUGHT TO BE THROWN IN JAIL FOR THIS!"

Really? You want to live in a country where people can be thrown in prison for writing stupid shit on the internet? I hear North Korea is lovely this time of year.

"You ArE the very peaple that Craven Desires talks abot!"

I'll admit I had to google "Craven Desires." It sounds like a porn star, but it's actually a blog about dog abuse. I don't see how that's relevant at all to posting a silly story on my blog. So no, I'm NOT the very people he/she talks about. I've never abused an animal, and I hate people who do. In case you didn't realize, what you read was a story. There aren't really sheep-fucking vampires running around.

"YoU beloong in hell"

Really? Eternal damnation? You've never met me. You "know" me through one stupid gross-out story I posted online. And that's enough to say I should be tortured for eternity. I think that says more about you than it does about me.

"Signed, (who cares), Who Hates Idionts AND PEOPLE WHO LOVE GUARDING/FIGHTING/Molestar Dogs!"

Once again, this person seems to be under the impression that I have somehow hurt dogs by posting a story about evil vampire jocks who gain sustenance from fucking sheep. I reiterate: I've never hurt a dog in my life.

I'll let "idionts" speak for itself.

"All of ypu deserve to be in jails abd heil student, child, Marine or otherwise!"

I have confess I have no idea what this part is supposed to say.

Bottom line, though: I'm sorry if I offended you, but I have every right to post goofy fiction on my blog. If you don't like it, don't read it. Just please don't spam the comments with nonsense.

Thanks,

Upchuck Von Googinheimer IV, King of the Moon.