Man of Steel opening re-enactment

The following is a re-enactment of the first 15 minutes of the latest Superman movie "Man of Steel." Hope you enjoy.

INT. BROWN, DAY.

We zoom in on a brown, GENERIC SCI-FI world that is very brown. JOR-EL walks by in the busiest outfit ever and warns the council that Krypton is about to explode.

A COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY ACTION SCENE FOLLOWS.

ZOD shows up and shoots one of the council members, causing them to EXPLODE.

JOR-EL, the brave, stoic scientist-philosopher who believes in a better life in the future, a life where might doesn't make right, where disputes can be solved sanely BEATS THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF a bunch of silver NECROMONGERS FROM CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK. Jor-El KILLS THE SHIT out of them. One of them EXPLODES.

JOR-EL rides one of the REJECTS FROM EPISODE 3 around a brown ship, which EXPLODES.

He enters a birth chamber, is attacked by a brown robot that EXPLODS, and takes a swim to steal some weird skull-looking thing. Then he goes back home and puts baby Superman in a brown rocket that looks like a DOORSTOP.

ZOD and the Necromongers enter Jor-El's brown and silver house.

Jor-El, the wise man who knows his life has been forfeit to save his son's life and has resigned himself to his fate, understanding that Krypton is doomed and that further conflict is pointless, puts on a SWEET BROWN ARMOR SUIT AND BEATS THE FUCK UT OF ZOD, which makes perfect sense since he's a scientist and Zod is a warrior.

THE CAMERA JUST GOES FUCKING CRAZY.

Zod stabs Jor-El with a brown blade.

SOME OTHER SHIT HAPPENS, and then Zod and co. get frozen.

STUFF EXPLODES. Then the brown MOUNTAINS explode. Then the brown GROUND explodes.

Then KRYPTON EXPLODES.