Jesus Christ, 2016...

Hell of year.

The Empire's in power again, and building another big stupid war machine. Seems like we only just blew up the last one, but I guess you just can't keep a bad idea down. Speaking of which, The Enterprise crashed and burned. I hear they lost Chekhov. Normally this would the time to call in the superheros, but they're all too busy beating each other up.

Wait, Superman's dead? Somebody call Starman! He's dead too? That leaves Godzilla, but it looks like he's a bad guy again. What? The ID4 aliens are back? This is nuts! Who the hell is in charge here?!

Biff Tannen...? That explains a lot.

Strange times.

A scientific drawing of my innermost thoughts

Pretty standard for my generation, I think. ADD + isolation + an internet connection = some thoughts that are really interesting if you're high but kinda stupid at any other time. Ever wonder what would happen if Christopher Hitchens did the DVD commentary for the Power Rangers movie? Didn't think so. Actually, on second thought, that sounds pretty cool. Fuck, someone get on that.

... I've just remembered that Christopher Hitchens is dead, so we can't do this. I mean, we probably couldn't have made this happen even if he was still alive, but I think you'll agree that our chances of success would have been slightly higher.

I wonder if, at some point in the future, technology will progress to the point where you could just write an AI programmed with a voice based on audio recordings of Christopher Hitchens, and then direct said AI to provide commentary as the Power Ranger movie played. That would be hilarious. Although really, you'd hope that with technology that advanced, medical science would advance to the point where they* could just revive him from the dead like in that one issue of Alan Moore's run on Miracleman (SEE? COMIC BOOKS!) and then have him do it.

Then again, this presents the same problem we would have had if he were hypothetically still alive, which is that he'd probably be unwilling to provide commentary to the Power Rangers movie. In that case, maybe the AI solution would be best, though that raises the question of whether or not Hitchens would own the copyright on an AI based on and sounding like himself. I guess whether or not the AI were sentient would be the deciding factor, but I don't feel like contemplating that scenario, because it sounds like a really bad episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

The point is: The movie goes "I AM LORD ZEDD, SWORN ENEMY OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT" and Hitchens be like "Rather like the mullahs in Iran, I think."

... Shit, I would need to be high for this to be funny. Never mind.



*- "They" are presumably the weird futuristic cult who base their entire worldview upon this blog and the asinine ideas contained therein.